Benji baby (benji_baby) wrote,
Benji baby

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oye vey!

Dawn and Jeremy told me that Anna was trying to cheat on me with Jeremy...they said that she put the moves on him, but Jeremy had too much integrity to do anything. I was enraged.

Anna and Jeannie told me that Jeremy was lying, and that he put the moves on her, and that they went through with the cheating {they kissed}...anna said she had no choice because he forced her to do it.

I confused. I sad. I dont know what to think. I dont know who to believe or to what degree of truth each exposes. I depressed. I dont think I will ever trust anyone again in my life. I never truly trusted anyone, but i was hoping that someday soon I would be able to. This event, and this relationship has solidified my opinions. I will never trust, and I will never love again.

She told me at the beginning that I would get hurt. Why dont I ever listen?

Love does not exist. Ive never experienced it. Only lust. Lust is undying, and sometimes when lust becomes overpowering, the victim believes they are in love. Ive felt lust, both on the giving and recieving end, and I thought Ive given love, but Ive never felt it in return.

So Ive resigned myself to the fact that I merely felt lust towards my ex-girls, and that I can never be loved or fill the void that i feel.

I should be happy now. "He who expects nothing is blessed, for he shall never be dissappointed"

Please excuse me if thats not the exact quote. Im in Chem class and cant consult the bible. Science and religion dont mix.
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